


strength in mourning

by Rethira



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/pseuds/Rethira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of ficlets about Kratos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i'll see you when i wake

**Author's Note:**

> the vast majority of these are very short, alternate universe and standalone
> 
> this was written for [lauren](http://delacroixmcnuggets.tumblr.com/) for a bad end au prompt

Mithos does not forgive traitors.

Kratos has known this since he was mortal, and journeyed with Mithos to save the world. He’s known this since a human killed Martel, and Mithos declared humanity _unfit_ , and condemned them to an eternity of repaying that one sin.

Even so, Kratos had betrayed him.

Because Mithos was the traitor first – Mithos and his Desians, and their obsession with exspheres. Mithos might not have ordered Anna’s death in so many words, but his commands reached Kvar, and Kvar killed Anna just as surely as if he’d guided the blade himself.

Mithos may not forgive traitors, but Kratos does not forgive _him_.

He had never considered this. He had never considered that Mithos had ventured into such wanton _cruelty_.

Lloyd mirrors his mother. His Anna. His body swollen and misshapen, unnatural growths littering it, and his skin streaked red and white.

His little boy. Gone in the amount of time it took for one Desian to remove the exsphere embedded in his skin.

He’d thought, once, that he could never feel so broken as he did at that moment. When he’d cradled Lloyd’s bloodied shoe in his hands, convinced that he’d lost _everything_ \- in that moment, Kratos had been sure that he would never despair so deeply as he did then.

He has never been so wrong.

“I will not fight you,” Kratos announces, to the monster that was Lloyd. It bellows and bangs against the bars separating them, and the Desians jeer. They only know them as humans, as serial numbers – Lloyd was L897. He’d laughed when he’d heard it, laughed and refused to answer. The Desians had whipped him for it, and he’d laughed even then.

He’ll never laugh again.

They let the bars down later, and Lloyd charges forward; his claws are like scythes, and they sink through Kratos’ stomach like butter. He wraps his arms around Lloyd as best he can – hah, Lloyd’s taller than him now, he’d be so happy – and murmurs, “Live for me, Lloyd, my son.”


	2. elope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anon

They get married in one of the Sanctuaries along the road. Anna’s already pregnant and it shows; the pastor’s mouth thins into a line when he sees her, and he glances between them, frowning. It’s only them, and Kratos pays an exorbitant amount for the brief ceremony. Their only witnesses are a handful of travellers, who watch with only a little curiosity.

The pastor asks for more money if they want to stay, but Anna laughs and says, “No, we’re going to honeymoon,” and smooths her clothes over her stomach, so no-one can fail to notice her pregnancy.

“Anna,” Kratos chides, but she just laughs some more and kisses him swift and gentle.

“We’re married,” she murmurs, sweet and soft.

“Yes,” Kratos agrees, tangling their fingers together. He buys a few necessities for the road ahead, and then they continue onwards.


	3. tomatoes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for tammi

Kratos knows instantly, the very second the hated substance touches his lips. Anna isn’t paying attention, but it’s still a small miracle she doesn’t notice when he chokes. He never should have told her. She keeps trying to sneak them into his food now. What did he ever do to deserve this.

Lloyd makes a similar noise, and that’s when Anna looks up. Her eyes are twinkling.

“Something the matter?” she asks.

“There’s tomatoes!” Lloyd protests, loudly, glaring at his soup like it has mortally wronged him. “Mummy, you put tomatoes in!”

“Did I?” Anna asks, innocently.

Kratos covers his face with his hands. “Lloyd….”

“Daddy, Mummy put tomatoes in our food!” Lloyd grabs Kratos’ arm and tugs, gesturing wildly at Anna.

“Am I a bad Mummy then?” Anna asks, and she has to know that that will send Lloyd into a spiral of confusion, so Kratos grabs Lloyd before he can think about it.

“We’ll have to make dinner ourselves now, won’t we?” Kratos asks.

Lloyd perks up, and nods. “No tomatoes.”

“No tomatoes,” Kratos agrees.

“Honestly, you’re such a baby about them,” Anna tuts. “And how old are you again?”

“Tomatoes are the devil’s food.”

Anna laughs and cleans their soup away, and Lloyd tugs Kratos off to go and make better soup, with no tomatoes whatsoever.


	4. xanthe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for lauren, again

"You’ll kill us all!" Kvar shouts.

Kratos thinks of Anna. Of Lloyd.

"Good," he says.


	5. two graves apiece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for lauren, for the prompt sci-fi/au

They are both killed.

Mithos gives Kratos a gift.

"I made them immortal for you," he says. “Like you are."

Anna cannot cry anymore. Her body doesn’t have tear ducts. She shakes for the first month, clutching Lloyd to her chest.

Lloyd will never grow up.

"I could never blame you," she says, but Kratos doesn’t know if he can believe her. He loves her. He loves Lloyd. But they died already, and Mithos has given him two toys for make-believe. He doesn’t know if that’s worse or not.

When Mithos gets angry, he breaks them. He revives them right after, in pristine new bodies. Anna looks like she did when she died. Kratos cries for her.

On the day he finally manages to flee, he takes them with him, and when Lloyd says, “Daddy, please turn me off,” his heart breaks anew.

They have two unmarked graves apiece, and Kratos buries his heart and his soul with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to clear up confusion, the original anna and lloyd are killed, following which mithos obtains their memories and places them in robot/cyborg bodies


	6. falling star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for lauren and the prompt "space opera" although i dunno how closely it follows the prompt

She’d spent all her life looking up at the stars. How was she to know that one of them would come to meet her?

(This, Kratos tells Anna, is wholly inaccurate. He was never a star. She laughs and says he might as well have been.)

The man is disoriented and speaks a strange language. She calls him _Aurion_ which means “star” in her language. He spends a long time looking at the sky at night, and seems surprised by so many things. She teaches him to speak and he tells her his name is _Kratos_.

(He takes _Aurion_ as a second-name. When they are married, they call her Lady _Aurion_ as well. She wishes their son could bear the same name, but tradition demands he carry his mother’s second-name instead. Kratos says he doesn’t mind.)

She shows him the world. He stops looking at the stars, and looks at her instead. He calls her _treasure_ , and he calls her _perfect_ and he calls her _Anna_ but it sounds like _love_.

(They call their son Lloyd, and he is perfect. Anna thought she’d never see Kratos love anything as much as he loves Lloyd. She wonders if she should be jealous, but she can’t.)

When the stars descend, Kratos tells her to run. To take Lloyd and run, run as far as she can and as fast as she can. There is fire and there is death, and there are men after her, but Kratos- he kills them with frightening ease. She loves him anyway.

(A man comes, and Kratos calls him _Captain_ and kneels. He laughs coldly. Anna doesn’t feel the blade that kills her; Kratos’ face is white. She sees, through a haze of darkness, as he turns on the man he knelt before. She is only glad that Lloyd is hidden beneath her, and that no-one can kill him too.)

Lloyd grows up an orphan. The man who raises him is not his father.

His father, he’s told, was a star, and when his mother died his father went back to the sky and became a star once more.

(He doesn’t believe it.)


	7. maxwell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for driftwoodq, for the prompt "kratos becomes the next maxwell"

It takes a millennia - Kratos sleeps at the centre of Derris-Kharlan, sleeps and dreams of the world above him. The mana of Derris Kharlan is thick and rich and plentiful, and the spirits that are born from it are bright and new and strong.

They pluck their names from Kratos’ sleeping mind; Efreet for Fire, Undine for Water, Sylph for Wind and Gnome for Earth, and they might not be the same as those left behind but they are close enough.

There is no Origin here, no tempering force. The mana of Derris Kharlan breathes with Kratos, wraps around him and fills him and when Kratos opens his eyes it’s with the knowledge that if he does this then he will never die. His eyes scrunch shut again, only briefly - he’ll never seen Lloyd or Anna again, never - and the spirits spin close and demanding.

The mana at Derris-Kharlan’s core fills him and Kratos Aurion dies a final death; the new spirit Maxwell takes his place, and cries bitter _bitter_ tears for everything that he has lost.


	8. gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for lauren, "anna lives instead of kratos"

She takes the exsphere and the key crest from his body. He would have wanted her to. Even with them, it takes her a long time to descend the cliff, much longer than he would have. His sword is heavy in her hands, and she’s shaking; there’s nothing left at the bottom of the cliff.

She screams into the night, broken and tired and grief stricken. The key crest is still warm with his blood, still red with it. It sticks to her skin easily, and she rips her old exsphere out, the one they wanted, the one they killed him for.

She brings his sword down on it as hard as she can and watches as it smashes into dust. His exsphere clicks into place where the old one sat, and as soon as that’s done, she collapses, sobbing.

There are earthquakes that night, great heaving earthquakes the like of which she’s never felt before.

A voice echoes across the landscape; _I will never make a pact with you again, Mithos Yggdrasill_ , it says.

A dwarf appears the next day and he’s kind and gentle and he asks, tentatively, if she might be Anna.

When Lloyd sees her again, he breaks into a flood of tears and clings so tightly she thinks he might never let her go.


	9. mana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for driftwoodq, "kratos stays on aselia"

When Lloyd comes to him with grey in his hair, Kratos almost breaks.

Lloyd doesn’t come again; Genis brings news of his death, his youthful face twisted with grief.

"He was thinking of you near the end," Genis says. "You and… his mother." Genis won’t meet Kratos’ eyes. He leaves soon after.

Lloyd’s children don’t visit. It hadn’t been an easy choice, not for any of them. He’d wanted to be close to them. Wanted to look after them. He’d wanted so much. But the thought of loving them and losing them… he’d throw his life away a thousand times over.

When Yuan dies, Kratos takes his place as guardian of Yggdrasill. From time to time, Genis visits with tales of the new world. But he ages too - eventually, he stops visiting at all.

A town is built nearby. People come to Yggdrasill occasionally, but not often. Some of them, Kratos thinks, are familiar. He never goes to greet them, preferring to stay out of sight and out of mind.

When the mana starts to go, Kratos is almost thankful.

"You’re the last," Martel tells him. "The last human who needs mana to survive." Her fingers brush the Cruxis crystal still embedded in his hand. "Even this can’t keep you alive without it."

Kratos goes into the town the next day, and he rents a room at the inn. The people are nice, friendly. There’s a boy in town who looks like Lloyd.

Kratos removes his Cruxis crystal and falls asleep. He does not wake up.


	10. elope v2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for tammi, "modern au"

Anna talks Kratos into eloping - her parents don’t approve of him, but she doesn’t care.

They don’t have a fancy wedding, and afterwards the only threshold Kratos can carry her over is to the tiny apartment they’re renting above a used bookstore.

It doesn’t matter that the room is tiny, or that there’s the distinct smell of mildew wafting up from below. It doesn’t matter that her parents weren’t there, and it doesn’t matter that they don’t like Kratos.

All that matters is each other - at least until Anna smiles a secretive smile and says, “I have a surprise for you,” pressing her hand flat over her stomach.


	11. flipside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for drift, "yuan heads cruxis, mithos heads the renegades and kratos is stuck in the middle"

Yuan was never the same after Martel died.

Kratos can see where he’s coming from now. He can understand why Yuan is so desperate, so determined to bring her back. If he had the chance to do the same for Anna-

But then he remembers the Desians, and the angels. They’d brought him back, and Yuan had just looked at him coldly and asked if he was ready to come home. Anna’s blood had still been fresh on his clothes. Lloyd’s shoe had still been clutched in his hand.

Mithos had approached him afterwards. “I’m going to stop him,” he’d announced. Four thousand years old, and still filled with the same passion that had taken them on that fateful journey in the first place. “I want to let Martel sleep now,” Mithos continues.

Kratos squeezes Lloyd’s shoe in his hand; when he cries, Mithos’ hand is gentle on his back.


	12. descendents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for drift, for the prompt "the heroes from Phantasia travel to Derris-Kharlan after Dhaos' death and find kratos"

Derris-Kharlan is a dead world. There are a few people here and there; they slam their doors shut and bolt their windows and hide from the strangers amongst them. Mostly there are monsters, fierce, vicious creatures that attack without any fear at all.

Suzu says they should leave, and Claus agrees, but Arche shakes her head.

"There’s _something_ … I don’t think it’s mana, but there’s __something__ further on. Something… _powerful_.” She shrugs carelessly, but everyone tightens their grip on their weapons.

Derris-Kharlan isn’t like Aselia. The centre of this world is something _other_ , and they can descend there. Chester takes point, keeping an eye out for monster ambushes and the _something_ that Arche felt. Cress brings up the rear, and the others keep close together, Arche only occasionally flying up to get a better look at things.

When they do reach the core, it’s a strange thing they find there.

"It looks like a shrine," Mint says, although it’s not like any shrine they’ve ever seen before. The altar is shaped like a bed with a glass lid over the top; it’s empty. There’s rotting food on the steps up to the altar, and dead flowers alongside them.

"This is definitely where I felt the thing," Arche announces. "I wonder where it went?"

Mere seconds after she says it, Chester barks a warning and looses an arrow; it flies swift and sure and embeds in the side of a pillar, just above the strange man’s head.

He looks up at it and then back to them. His eyes are interested, but calm. When he speaks, it’s not in any language Cress knows. They glance between themselves, unsure, and then Claus says, “It sounds… it almost sounds like the Spirit Tongue.” He frowns and then says a few clipped words.

The man looks briefly relieved and replies, slow enough for Claus to decipher him.

"It sounds like… it sounds like he’s been sleeping. Or that’s what he claims," Claus says. "He says he only woke up a little while ago. He wants to know what happened to the mana."

It takes a while, but Claus manages to communicate that they’re not from Derris-Kharlan at all. The revelation of them being from another world doesn’t surprise the man at all; he asks about _their_ mana and frowns distantly. Claus hesitantly tells him about Yggdrasill - and it’s then and only then that the man reacts in any obvious way.

He looks almost alarmed and afraid; saddened maybe. When he speaks again, it’s rapidly and with great urgency.

"What is it, what’s he saying?" Arche asks, tugging at Claus’ sleeve.

He shakes his head and concentrates - “I believe he’s asking the name of the spirit of the tree? Maybe the name of the Summon Spirits as well?”

"Martel," Mint says. "The spirit of the tree was called Martel."

The man can’t understand her, but at the name Martel he shakes his head and falls to his knees. He starts saying something again, quietly this time, and they cautiously move closer.

"Claus?" Cress asks.

Claus shrugs. “It doesn’t mean anything. A name or a nonsense word.”

The man curls in on himself and starts to weep. He doesn’t stop for hours, and the only word he says in all that time is, “Lloyd.”


	13. tomatoes v2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for raphi, ladykratos/anna
> 
> the more things change, the more they stay the same

"You’re being ridiculous."

"No I’m not."

"Yes you are. Four thousand years old, and you still won’t eat your vegetables.”

"Tomatoes are not vegetables. They’re demon spawn."

"Do you even hear the words that come out of your mouth? I love you, but you’re really very trying."

"… I’ll wear a dress if you don’t make me eat the tomatoes."

"…. all right, missy, you’ve got yourself a deal."


	14. a future writ in blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for tammi

Her claws rend into his side, tearing through skin and bone like tissue paper. She throws him aside. He hits a tree, and though he hears a _crack_ , it doesn’t hurt.

Anna’s voice fades from Kratos’ head; she rips through the Desians. The ground runs red with blood. Anna- the thing that _was_ Anna screams, and turns its claws on Kvar. Kratos has to blink the blood out of his eyes. He wonders why he hasn’t died yet, until he spots his Cruxis Crystal, still embedded in his limp arm. A leg hits the ground beside him with a wet _thump_. Kvar’s screams trail off into a gurgle.

There’s a child screaming in the night.

Lloyd.

The thing that was Anna turns its head towards the cliff where Lloyd and Noishe fell.

_Lloyd._

Kratos can’t force his legs to move. But he calls out, “ _Anna_ ,” and the thing that was her turns again, in his direction and she storms towards him and he doesn’t care when her claws - like scythes - dig into him. Doesn’t care that it hurts. Doesn’t care that Anna, his dear, beloved _Anna_ is gone.

As long as Lloyd survives, he thinks. As long as Lloyd survives.

When Dirk comes there the next morning, all that remains of Kratos Aurion is a bright, shining crystal.

Dirk takes it back to the little crying boy, and wonders what he’ll tell him about his parents.


	15. lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me and tammi were talking and this happened
> 
> for tammi

He sings for Lloyd. Lullabies mostly, although Lloyd’s never really been bad about bed-time. Anna says it would be different if they lived somewhere; she says that because they’re always travelling, Lloyd exhausts himself every day, even on the days when they don’t see anything interesting. It’s hard to argue with that logic.

He still sings.

Lloyd climbs in Kratos’ lap and demand a song. It’s not like he can understand the words. The only songs Kratos knows are ones from _centuries_ ago, so he sings those. It’s peaceful; Lloyd half-asleep in his lap, Anna tucked up beside him, Noishe shoving his head in Anna’s lap and demanding to be stroked.

“What does the song mean?” Anna asks, when Lloyd’s safely fast asleep.

“My mother sang it,” Kratos replies, and it isn’t an answer but Anna doesn’t mind. She kisses his cheek, gently, and carries Lloyd to bed.

She asks him to sing sometimes – “Sing a happy song,” she’ll say, when she’s cooking, and Lloyd will burst into excited laughter when Kratos obliges.

Lloyd never asks, “Daddy, what do the songs mean?” Kratos wonders what he would have told him; the lullabies telling children that their bed-covers will keep them safe from the war. The songs glorifying death- he sings a song about the joy of a new dawn and feels like a traitor ten times over. The joy of _victory_ \- and his wife is humming along, his son giggling.

He sings her a love song the next time and she turns around halfway through and says, “Kratos Aurion, are you singing me a love song?” He just smiles; when she kisses him, Lloyd exclaims loudly and covers his eyes.

“I’ve never been happier,” he whispers, and Anna kisses him lightly on the forehead and says, “I’m making tomatoes for dinner,” and even that’s a little bit of happiness.

 

And then they’re gone, like everything else he’s ever loved.

 

He doesn’t sing again for fourteen years.

 

The night Lloyd is told the truth, Kratos sings again. To himself, mostly, although Mithos sits perched on a chair at the foot of the bed.

“That’s nice,” he comments. “What is it?”

“A lullaby,” Kratos replies, bitterly. “A lullaby.”

 

His happiness is still gone, but perhaps the hurt stings a little less.

 

He sings the lullaby his mother sang as he descends into Derris-Kharlan’s core. His lullaby, Lloyd’s lullaby. Does it matter?

He sings through his tears, for the Lloyd he lost and the Lloyd he never knew.

He falls asleep, a smile on his face and tears on his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> manga panel edit by [tammi](http://professor-tammi.tumblr.com/)


End file.
